Looking outward to do your inward work

We must be able to think about any idea without it breaking our ability to think.

Choice is at the center of everything. It’s important that we ask ourselves why we are conversing. It’d be great if we could always do that in advance, but we can settle for asking as soon as we notice we are in a conversation.

Why am I in this conversation? Only then can you look outward, as a way to do your inward work of self-improvement. It’s too easy to end up looking outward, thinking about what this other person has wrong. Rather, we should be looking outward, thinking what might this other person be showing me that I have wrong.

It is at this point that you have a choice: to suspend what you think, relaxing your grip and remaining open, or to defend it with the assumption that you are right. Typically, this is not a choice you make consciously. And more often you find yourself reacting, generally defending your position or point of view.

~ William Isaacs, from Dialogue, p37

In order to do any of that, we must be able to think about an idea without accepting it; Without integrating into our knowledge. We must be able to think about any idea without it breaking our ability to think. If you can’t do those things, then you’re trying to hold on to something, and pushing that new idea away.

In the end, do you really want to be typical when it comes to conversation?

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