Let go of self-judgement and follow your curiosity

Genuine interest on our part is appreciated by all true conversation partners.

Our sense of salience is a super-power. (Salience is the quality of being particularly noticeable or important.) We all have this super-power. I believe it arises from our sub-conscious when something we’re just encountering, rhymes with our important experiences. What rhymes, in the moment, for each of us is going to vary, tremendously. But what does rhyme for each of us—what we find salient in the moment—is a bright, neon sign pointing us towards surprise and delight.

In conversation don’t try and second-guess what is ‘intresting’ to others, pay attention to what you are interested in, which means reading your own bodily responses and sensations. What is there in the conversation that brings you alive? What is arising for you? Go there.

~ Robert Poynton, from Do Conversation, p70

“Go there,” indeed. Don’t be self-critical of what’s come up for you, in the moment. Let your thoughts run with your curiosity. Genuine interest on our part is appreciated by all true conversation partners. Go ahead! Ask that strange-seeming question you’d normally suppress.

What is arising for you?

ɕ