Releasing preconceptions can lead to delight.
In conversation we find tension within ourselves from our competing desires to lead and to follow. For genuine connection to develop, we must release our preconceptions of who the other person is, and where the conversation may lead.
A great conversation is one where we (and our partners) feel the joy of creation, even if that’s while discussing a contentious topic. We have little chance of being creative if we know, or think we know, where things are headed.
David Bohm, in his essay titled On Dialogue has this to say:
The picture or image […] is of a stream of meaning flowing among and through us and between us. This will make possible a flow of meaning in the whole group, out of which may emerge some new understanding. It’s something new, which may not have been in the starting point at all. It’s something creative.
It is uncommon to encounter truly new things. It’s the appearance of something new, in a living conversation, which alerts us to pay fresh attention. Surprised, we wonder: Is this new thing true? Where did this new thing come from? Why have I not discovered this sooner?
How delightful is that?