Posts
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Depth versus aliveness
What defines a deep conversation, and how can one recognize or evaluate its depth? Is the depth of a conversation defined by content or the experience? This article is based on the episode Depth versus aliveness from the Open + Curious podcast as part of a short series on Bringing conversation alive. I feel like… More →
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Enough studying
Experimenting, observing, and reflecting on your conversations I believe we must move beyond studying, into active practice. Every time I think perhaps I should begin to work on a book about conversation, I find another book. I’m always waffling between being convinced that I do have something original to contribute, and being convinced that I’ve… More →
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Why do we keep talking?
Why do we keep talking, and when should we stop? Join Craig and Jesse as they challenge the urge to keep talking and explore the value of silence. This article is based on the episode Why do we keep talking? from the Open + Curious podcast as part of a short series on Bringing conversation… More →
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Diving deep
Preparation and practice before the dive lead to better outcomes Are we envisioning play and the joy of discovery, or work and struggle? Our ability to go deep depends on our preparation. In the moment before the dive, of course, it matters how much energy we are expecting to need. It also matters how and… More →
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Hearing multiple things
How can we effectively handle conversations where multiple topics or threads are presented simultaneously, ensuring a balance between active listening, addressing key points, and maintaining conversational flow? Craig Constantine and Jesse Danger explore navigating multiple topics gracefully, leveraging listening as a tool, and the nuanced dance of giving and receiving information. This article is based… More →
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Take that back
Don’t give the impression you want an answer Revealing your questions in such a way points to the shape of the knowledge you are seeking. It’s important to imagine how what we say will be interpreted. Our conversations are able to move to a deeper level once you see how to reveal a question, without… More →
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Without purpose or agenda
Are you heading toward what you already understand or toward your unknown? In a conversation exploring the depths of dialogue and presence, Craig and Jesse get into the intriguing parallels between Quaker meetings and Gurdjieff groups, revealing how these practices foster a deeply present state of mind, akin to a slow, thoughtful game of chess.… More →
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Fostering exchange
Acting as the expedition leader A good conversationalist is capable of leading people on a mutual expedition toward understanding. The common ways to imagine guiding a conversation are to ask questions, invite stories, or to generally encourage others to share with you. You can expand your conversational flexibility by finding less usual ways. Intentionally trying… More →
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Common ground
Revealing questions to find common ground If we start from understanding, and move together towards a common purpose, we’ll soon find common ground. Mostly what I am seeking, in a good conversation, is understanding. Both understanding the other, and to be understood myself. Only with mutual understanding can we ever find common purpose. I believe… More →
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Upward spiral
The positive feedback of seeking the interesting I’m sometimes asked how to cultivate curiosity to improve one’s conversations. There is a positive feedback loop that can arise when we notice we are interested. We are drawn to return to that place or to that situation. Unfortunately, we quickly tire of places and situations. To thrive,… More →