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Diving deep
Preparation and practice before the dive lead to better outcomes Are we envisioning play and the joy of discovery, or work and struggle? Our ability to go deep depends on our preparation. In the moment before the dive, of course, it matters how much energy we are expecting to need. It also matters how and…
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Hearing multiple things
Craig Constantine and Jesse Danger explore navigating multiple topics gracefully, leveraging listening as a tool, and the nuanced dance of giving and receiving information. This article is based on an episode from the Open + Curious podcast. To listen, please read more about how to purchase the podcast episodes. Craig and Jesse discuss the intricacies of…
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Take that back
Don’t give the impression you want an answer Revealing your questions in such a way points to the shape of the knowledge you are seeking. It’s important to imagine how what we say will be interpreted. Our conversations are able to move to a deeper level once you see how to reveal a question, without…
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Without purpose or agenda
In a conversation exploring the depths of dialogue and presence, Craig and Jesse get into the intriguing parallels between Quaker meetings and Gurdjieff groups, revealing how these practices foster a deeply present state of mind, akin to a slow, thoughtful game of chess. This article is based on an episode from the Open + Curious…
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Fostering exchange
Acting as the expedition leader A good conversationalist is capable of leading people on a mutual expedition toward understanding. The common ways to imagine guiding a conversation are to ask questions, invite stories, or to generally encourage others to share with you. You can expand your conversational flexibility by finding less usual ways. Intentionally trying…
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Common ground
Revealing questions to find common ground If we start from understanding, and move together towards a common purpose, we’ll soon find common ground. Mostly what I am seeking, in a good conversation, is understanding. Both understanding the other, and to be understood myself. Only with mutual understanding can we ever find common purpose. I believe…
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Upward spiral
The positive feedback of seeking the interesting I’m sometimes asked how to cultivate curiosity to improve one’s conversations. There is a positive feedback loop that can arise when we notice we are interested. We are drawn to return to that place or to that situation. Unfortunately, we quickly tire of places and situations. To thrive,…
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Holes
Getting a handle on the unknown We cannot tackle the unknown by simply tumbling into the void. Questions are knowledge-shaped holes. Having such a shape provides anticipation for learning. Do we want the first answer for every question? Do we really want just whatever happens to be the first thing we discover that fits? There’s…
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Attention is kindness
Listening is a gift of our attention In the end, we have a gift we can share, and keeping it to ourselves preserves us nothing. Attention is as precious as our irreplaceable time. Giving our attention to someone is an opportunity to feel kindness for another person. What do we do? How do we lean…
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Spaciousness
Creating space by holding on to questions Flow state is often spoken of as a goal for any mastery practice. In such a state, there’s a feeling of spaciousness, and room for creativity to blossom. We’re waiting. We’re waiting for the next idea. We’re not grasping at the first idea which comes to mind. Effective…