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Active, not passive
Flipping the internal to be external Taking action implies taking responsibility. One of the keys to great conversation is to be active, and not passive. It’s important to go into any conversation with a clear intention, but intention alone is not enough. Your intention must affect your actions: What you do, how you act, and…
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Art
The yearning to explore I don’t want to teach you how to do conversation well. I have long been the sort of person who likes to explore every detail, and who attempts to create the complete and accurate map. That will not be my contribution to the art of conversation. Rather, I wish to inspire…
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Small talk
Are you actually interested? It could simply be a lack of interest in other people. Many people claim to dislike small talk. Certainly there are times when I’m tired and don’t have the energy for any conversation. But generally, I find small talk interesting and engaging. Many disagree. I’ve wondered if professed dislike of small…
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Broadcast mode
The phenomenon of being talked at It’s not enough to sit and think about this now, as you’re reading this. You must remember to do so in the moment. If you want to have better conversations, you need to be talking with the purpose of enjoying the dynamic with your partner! Too many people simply…
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Fine art versus applied art
Can thinking about this distinction guide us? Both fine and applied art have value. I’m drawn to the fine art. What are the participants creating during a good conversation? Certainly, good conversations have a “do no harm” undertone. But it’s the pleasure of the shared experience which is at the core. To your capability you…
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The interview as form
Balancing observing and participating in a conversation Details that would have been lost in the blur of the experience, will stick in your mind and become mile markers. We shouldn’t rely on luck. When we find ourselves in a budding conversation, we must be intentional with what we are trying to create. I’m not suggesting…
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Attention
Self-awareness as the master key We must imagine clearly and in detail where a conversation could go, and then be aware of where it actually goes. Intention is about having some reason for a conversation. If we want intentional conversations, then we must spend some time in self-reflection to discover those reasons. If we want…
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How do you end?
Understand the balance between leaving a conversation fulfilled and seeking more. This article is based on the episode How do you end? from the Open + Curious podcast as part of a short series on Bringing conversation alive. Craig and Jesse discuss the complexities of ending conversations, beginning with the idea that most conversations naturally…
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Once awakened
Can dialogue itself be more important than the decisions it leads to? This article is based on the episode Once awakened from the Open + Curious podcast as part of a short series on Bringing conversation alive. In this conversation, Craig and Jesse explore the concept of dialogue and its transformative power within communities. They…
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Imagine
Our common desire for understanding We must bootstrap our self-awareness and use that to work on our humility and curiosity. Everyone wants to be better understood. I know I do. You know you do, and from you and I it’s easy to extrapolate to saying “everyone.” But don’t take my word for it, ask people.…