Open + Curious

What is the difference between adversity and challenge in the context of conversations, and how can one navigate these dynamics to foster curiosity and deeper understanding? Exploring the fine line between adversity and challenge can transform the nature of our conversations. This article is based on the episode Adversity and Challenge from the Open +…

Weird questions point to what’s interesting If what we seek is an exchange of ideas, then weird questions are better than clear questions. A great conversation isn’t us taking a test, with our conversation partner grading our thinking. We’re not trying to show our work. We shouldn’t be seeking affirmation. Asking weird questions of our…

Could you begin your next conversation from an unusual notion? We could sit back and hope that a conversation moves into the new, and surprises us with those reverberations Hillman mentions. Hoping isn’t good enough. All good conversation has some element of surprise because it’s interesting when we discover something new; it doesn’t matter whether…

When the ground shifts beneath us during a conversation What happens when someone’s intentions shift during the conversation itself? What happens if we realize that we’ve misread other’s intentions? In any conversation, our intention matters. The quality of our conversations depends on our intentions—whether or not we state them explicitly—and on whether our intentions are…

Are we also looking for ourselves? Bringing self-awareness to mind, in a conversation, enables us to be more intentional about where we go next. Conversations can be an opportunity for us to practice self-awareness. This of course involves a delicate balance of being “in” the conversation enough to be a good conversation partner, while also…

Intentionally engaging until we find it interesting I can see that my digging into things that didn’t seem interesting at first glance, has yielded terrific results: Learning, surprise, and happiness to name just three. And not just for myself, but for others too. It’s surprising how many things become interesting once I spend enough time…

Choosing a direction towards what you don’t know We want to avoid being drawn toward what we understand. In that direction lies the temptation to summarize and finish. In a conversation we can feel the urge to have a purpose in the form of a goal we are trying to reach, and we can feel…

An actions-based perspective When something feels off, we can consider which roles are present in the moment. Am I being a mover, and my guest a follower? Or are they perhaps being an opposer? During a conversation we sometimes sense that it could be better. We might be aware that we are confused, disappointed, or…

What intention might you try setting for your next conversation? I don’t simply day-dream about my intentions when it’s convenient. I consider different intentions, choose explicitly, and then work to carry that intention into a conversation. Our urge to hide influences us in subtle ways. If we feel we can’t control another’s thinking (in truth…

In conversation we can help others be their best selves Focusing on these small things frees me from trying to imagine what is the big picture we’re creating. There are so many things we could pursue in any conversation: Learning, discovery, helping our partner, even fame. So it’s wise to pick something to use as…