Getting a handle on the unknown We cannot tackle the unknown by simply tumbling into the void. Questions are knowledge-shaped holes. Having such a shape provides anticipation for learning. Do we want the first answer for every question? Do we really want just whatever happens to be the first thing we discover that fits? There’s… More →

Listening is a gift of our attention In the end, we have a gift we can share, and keeping it to ourselves preserves us nothing. Attention is as precious as our irreplaceable time. Giving our attention to someone is an opportunity to feel kindness for another person. What do we do? How do we lean… More →

Creating space by holding on to questions Flow state is often spoken of as a goal for any mastery practice. In such a state, there’s a feeling of spaciousness, and room for creativity to blossom. We’re waiting. We’re waiting for the next idea. We’re not grasping at the first idea which comes to mind. Effective… More →

Where can you be more, “Yes, and…”? We feel such conversations “went well” and we’re glad for the humanizing experience. Good improv requires considerable effort. The act of “yes, and…” requires nimble thinking, an assumption of positive intent, and the leaning-in posture of engagement. Good-will is absolutely necessary for improv to work well. And it’s… More →

What is the difference between adversity and challenge in the context of conversations, and how can one navigate these dynamics to foster curiosity and deeper understanding? Exploring the fine line between adversity and challenge can transform the nature of our conversations. This article is based on the episode Adversity and Challenge from the Open +… More →

Weird questions point to what’s interesting If what we seek is an exchange of ideas, then weird questions are better than clear questions. A great conversation isn’t us taking a test, with our conversation partner grading our thinking. We’re not trying to show our work. We shouldn’t be seeking affirmation. Asking weird questions of our… More →

When the ground shifts beneath us during a conversation What happens when someone’s intentions shift during the conversation itself? What happens if we realize that we’ve misread other’s intentions? In any conversation, our intention matters. The quality of our conversations depends on our intentions—whether or not we state them explicitly—and on whether our intentions are… More →

Are we also looking for ourselves? Bringing self-awareness to mind, in a conversation, enables us to be more intentional about where we go next. Conversations can be an opportunity for us to practice self-awareness. This of course involves a delicate balance of being “in” the conversation enough to be a good conversation partner, while also… More →

Intentionally engaging until we find it interesting I can see that my digging into things that didn’t seem interesting at first glance, has yielded terrific results: Learning, surprise, and happiness to name just three. And not just for myself, but for others too. It’s surprising how many things become interesting once I spend enough time… More →