Open + Curious

How can we effectively handle conversations where multiple topics or threads are presented simultaneously, ensuring a balance between active listening, addressing key points, and maintaining conversational flow? Craig Constantine and Jesse Danger explore navigating multiple topics gracefully, leveraging listening as a tool, and the nuanced dance of giving and receiving information. This article is based…

Don’t give the impression you want an answer Revealing your questions in such a way points to the shape of the knowledge you are seeking. It’s important to imagine how what we say will be interpreted. Our conversations are able to move to a deeper level once you see how to reveal a question, without…

Are you heading toward what you already understand or toward your unknown? In a conversation exploring the depths of dialogue and presence, Craig and Jesse get into the intriguing parallels between Quaker meetings and Gurdjieff groups, revealing how these practices foster a deeply present state of mind, akin to a slow, thoughtful game of chess.…

Acting as the expedition leader A good conversationalist is capable of leading people on a mutual expedition toward understanding. The common ways to imagine guiding a conversation are to ask questions, invite stories, or to generally encourage others to share with you. You can expand your conversational flexibility by finding less usual ways. Intentionally trying…

Revealing questions to find common ground If we start from understanding, and move together towards a common purpose, we’ll soon find common ground. Mostly what I am seeking, in a good conversation, is understanding. Both understanding the other, and to be understood myself. Only with mutual understanding can we ever find common purpose. I believe…

The positive feedback of seeking the interesting I’m sometimes asked how to cultivate curiosity to improve one’s conversations. There is a positive feedback loop that can arise when we notice we are interested. We are drawn to return to that place or to that situation. Unfortunately, we quickly tire of places and situations. To thrive,…

Getting a handle on the unknown We cannot tackle the unknown by simply tumbling into the void. Questions are knowledge-shaped holes. Having such a shape provides anticipation for learning. Do we want the first answer for every question? Do we really want just whatever happens to be the first thing we discover that fits? There’s…

Listening is a gift of our attention In the end, we have a gift we can share, and keeping it to ourselves preserves us nothing. Attention is as precious as our irreplaceable time. Giving our attention to someone is an opportunity to feel kindness for another person. What do we do? How do we lean…

Creating space by holding on to questions Flow state is often spoken of as a goal for any mastery practice. In such a state, there’s a feeling of spaciousness, and room for creativity to blossom. We’re waiting. We’re waiting for the next idea. We’re not grasping at the first idea which comes to mind. Effective…

Where can you be more, “Yes, and…”? We feel such conversations “went well” and we’re glad for the humanizing experience. Good improv requires considerable effort. The act of “yes, and…” requires nimble thinking, an assumption of positive intent, and the leaning-in posture of engagement. Good-will is absolutely necessary for improv to work well. And it’s…